


"Do you want chips?"

by JadenR5Fam



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Real World, Based on a Tumblr Post, F/M, alec only appears via text message, mundane AU, nothing worse than what's in the books (if even that bad), rated t for sex jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-12 16:29:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4486683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadenR5Fam/pseuds/JadenR5Fam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clary and Jace go grocery shopping, and Clary might end up regretting it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Do you want chips?"

 “Claryyy, we’re out of food again!” Jace called from the kitchen of their shared apartment.

 “No, Jace, we’re just out of food that you like. And we are not getting takeout again. It’s time to go grocery shopping.”

 “Oh, well, will you pick up-”

 “No. You’re going with me this time, because last time you got all pouty when I bought a flavor of yogurt you didn’t like.”

 “I told you specifically _not_ to get that kind!”

 “Then why were you just trying to ask me to pick something up, if I didn’t listen last time?”

 “...You did it _on purpose_ , didn’t you?” Jace said, looking very offended.

 “What? Me? I would never!” Clary exclaimed.

 “I SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOUR LIES, CLARISSA.”

 “Oh, calm down and go put some clothes on, or I won’t get you any food.”

 Within thirty minutes, Clary and Jace were at the grocery store.

 “Jace, go get a cart, will you?”

 “Fine.”

 “Stop sulking because I made you come grocery shopping, you giant baby.” Clary scolded.

 “Shhhh. You’re embarrassing me. What if we run into Alec and Magnus, or Simon and Izzy, or someone else we know?”

 “Yeah, because that’s really likely to happen in New York City, considering the 8 and a half million people that live here.”

 “It’d be just my luck.”

 “Shut up, Jace. Remember that time I was chewing you out for making a handjob joke in Toys R Us, and my boss walked up? It’s more my luck than yours.”

 “How could I forget that? ‘Not only can you not make that joke in a toy store, I don’t know a single palm reader who would give anyone a handjob. Let alone you!’ Good times.”

 “That’s not at all what I said, Jace.” Clary said, rolling her eyes.

 “It’s what I heard.”

 “You heard horribly wrong. Maybe you need a hearing test.”

 “Maybe you need glasses, since you’re about to walk straight into that pole.” Said Jace, as he swerved the cart around the previously mentioned pole.

 “You’re the one who distracted me. Follow me. We’re going to the fruit section.” Clary ordered, leading Jace and the cart exactly where they needed to go. She was the one who usually did the shopping, and she knew the store inside out. She wasn’t even sure Jace had ever been in the fruit section of this store. It wasn’t that Jace never went shopping; it was that he loaded up on other foods when he did go.

 “When I go shopping, I always go to the snack foods first.”

 “So _that’s_ why we have so many boxes of Cheez-Its in our kitchen. You need to stop buying those.”

 “We run out too fast. I might as well load up.”

 “We have _9 boxes_ , Jace. No more Cheez-Its for you.” As she talked, Clary grabbed and measured fruit to put in the cart.

 “Wait. What is _that_?’ Jace asked, referring to the large fruit currently in Clary’s hand.

 “That’s a mango. Haven’t you ever seen a whole mango?” Clary asked, disbelieving.

 “No! Not that I remember!”

 “Oh my god. You are a grown-ass man, and you’ve never seen a whole mango.”

 “I really don’t think I have. They’re always cut up when I see them.”

 “You do like them, though, right?” Clary asked, hoping that he actually liked them. She never knew when Jace would decide to be picky. Sometimes he’d eat almost anything she put in front of him, other times he wouldn’t  even drink something because it wasn’t “a manly color”.

“Yes, I like mangoes.”

“Good.” Clary continued to weave her way through the aisles, picking up various foods along the way. On some aisles, she’d have to practically drag Jace along with her to keep him from picking something else they didn’t need.

 When they got to the aisle with all the chips, Clary moved on to the end, while Jace got caught staring at some new flavor of chip he probably wanted.

 “Do you want chips?” Clary asked, just loud enough to be heard across the aisle.

 “I’M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR DORITOS.” Jace yelled at full volume, making Clary cringe and immediately regret not walking over to him.

 At that point, Clary had had enough. She took control of both Jace and the cart. They went through the rest of the store as quickly as possible. Clary didn’t say a word to Jace until they were in the car, though Jace kept up his usual snarky commentary.

 “You’re always a slut for Doritos?? Really? You _had_ to yell that to the entire store, didn’t you?” Clary scolded when they were both in the car. “You have no shame, do you?”

 “Not really.” Jace replied, though Clary ignored him and continued on.

 “I can’t even really be surprised, but really? Of all the things you could have yelled to the store, you yelled that?”

 “So you’re not actively discouraging me from yelling in public?” Jace said, raising an eyebrow.

 “I feel like if I try to stop you it’ll only encourage you. But to yell _that_ _?_ ”

 “Does this mean I won’t have to go shopping with you again?”

 “No, this means you’re going shopping next time, and if you pull something like that again I’m not getting you Doritos.”

 Jace had stopped paying attention to Clary. His phone had gone off, and he was currently checking to see who had texted him.

 The text turned out to be from their friend Alec, and it said:

 

_JACE HERONDALE, DID I HEAR YOU SCREAMING ABOUT BEING A DORITO SLUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAMN GROCERY STORE??_

 

 Jace snorted, causing Clary to notice he was no longer paying any attention to her. “Who are you texting?”

 “Alec. He was in the store, and he heard me.” Jace said, as he replied to Alec’s text.

 

_Yeah, that was me. Why?_

 

_I BLOODY KNEW IT._

_Since when do you say ‘bloody’?_

 

_Since the situation BLOODY warrants it._

 

 “Apparently Alec says ‘bloody’ now.” Jace said to Clary, in attempt to keep her distracted from her lecture.

 “Since when?”

 “To quote him ‘Since the situation bloody warrants it’.”

 “Ask him if he lost a bet with Magnus or something.” Said Clary.

 Jace sent Alec a text asking that, and got a reply within a minute.

 

_Believe it or not, no._

 

_Okay. Did it have anything to do with Magnus at all?_

 

_He might have rubbed off on me a bit._

 

 Jace showed Clary the texts, and they both burst out laughing, Clary having completely forgotten about scolding him.

 “Please tell me we’re not that bad,” said Jace.

 “I would hope not. Now, Mr. Dorito Slut Herondale, let’s get home before your specifically flavored yogurt gets warm.”

 “That was terrible.”

 “Shhhh. Leave me alone before I tell all our friends about your unfortunate Dorito kink.”

 “CLARY!”


End file.
